Beyond Kegels: How Modern Life Changed Your Pelvic Floor

You Think You Know Kegels... But Do You Actually?

I remember the first time someone told me to "just do Kegels." No explanation. No demo. Just a vague suggestion to squeeze... something… while sitting at red lights or brushing my teeth. So I did. I clenched. I hoped for the best.

And because I’d grown up on a steady stream of Cosmo and Seventeen advice columns (like most millennial girlies), I genuinely thought there was a specific muscle called the kegel muscle. Like a secret switch in my vagina that, if I squeezed hard enough, would keep everything tight, sexy, and in peak condition.

Turns out? That muscle doesn’t exist. (Move over, Neo. The spoon isn’t real, and neither is the kegel.)

Turns out, ‘Kegel’ is actually the name of a gynecologist, Dr. Arnold Kegel, who developed a method of strengthening the pelvic floor through repeated contractions. His goal was to help postpartum women reduce urinary leakage and improve tone. So yes, there’s science behind it.

But what we’ve been sold in magazines and group chats is a watered-down remix at best.

Most people think they’re doing Kegels right. But in reality, they’re usually just gripping their PC muscles, which are only one small part of the pelvic floor musculature, and calling it a day.

And here’s the kicker: contraction alone doesn’t equal strength.

Real strength comes from coordination. From the ability to contract and relax. From building neuromuscular pathways. From actually feeling what’s happening in your own body.

Which, spoiler alert, is probably what Dr. Kegel had in mind all along.

So let’s talk about who he was, what he actually taught, and why your modern-day body might need more than just a squeeze-and-hope strategy.

So… Who Was Dr. Kegel?

Dr. Arnold Kegel was a gynecologist working in the late 1940s and early 1950s. You know, back when women weren’t even allowed to become gynecologists, so we had to rely on men to become the “experts” on women’s bodies. A truly wild time.

One of the most common issues women faced then was urinary leakage and pelvic organ prolapse after childbirth. Dr. Kegel was one of the first to suggest that strengthening the pelvic floor could help. That was a pretty big deal, considering the main options at the time were surgery or just putting up with it.

He developed a series of pelvic floor contractions, now known as Kegel exercises, to help train the muscles that support the bladder, uterus, and rectum. But here’s the part no one talks about in mainstream advice:

Dr. Kegel didn’t just tell women to go home and squeeze.

He used a tool called a perineometer, a vaginal biofeedback device that helped women feel and measure their pelvic floor contractions. It wasn’t about random clenching. It was about building neuromuscular connection, something I constantly emphasize in my own coaching.

He also encouraged relaxation and body awareness, not just brute force. Because gripping tighter doesn’t always mean stronger. (Just ask any gym bro who can curl 50s but can’t extend his elbow fully). And as a result of his integrated approach, many of Dr. Kegel’s patients were able to overcome their pelvic issues.

Then vs. Now: Why Kegels Worked in the 1950s (and Why They Fall Short Today)

Here’s the truth: Dr. Kegel’s exercises aren’t the problem. The reason we’re still dealing with pelvic floor issues is that the bodies he designed these exercises for lived in a completely different world than the one we’re in now.

In the 1950s, most women moved throughout their day. They walked to the store, bent and lifted while cleaning or caring for kids, and generally lived more active lives. Their stress was real, but it wasn’t driven by a constant stream of news, social media comparison loops, or the mental clutter of a thousand unread emails.

They weren’t spending hours hunched over a laptop, clenching their jaw, and unconsciously tensing every muscle from their shoulders to their pelvic floor. Their resting state wasn’t one of chronic overwhelm.

The women Dr. Kegel worked with had very different bodies and nervous systems compared to what we’re working with today.

Now, most people spend the majority of their day sitting. At work. In the car. On the couch. That constant compression leads to short, tight, overworked pelvic floor muscles. On top of that, many of us are holding a baseline level of stress in our tissues at all times. Which means your pelvic floor might already be clenched before you even try to do a Kegel.

So what happens when we tell modern bodies to “just squeeze” without first teaching them how to relax, release, and feel?

We create more tension.
More disconnection.
And sometimes, more problems.

Dr. Kegel’s original approach included feedback, relaxation, and awareness of which muscles were engaging. What we’ve ended up with is an oversimplified, one-size-fits-all method that rarely addresses the real issue.

We’ve outgrown the Kegel shortcut.

Our bodies need a more complete, more connected approach.

And that’s where we go next.

What Kegels Miss and What to Do Instead

The way most people are taught to do Kegels today misses the mark completely.

First of all, the pelvic floor isn’t just one muscle. It’s a complex, layered system made up of multiple muscles, including the pubococcygeus (PC) and the deeper levator ani group. These muscles work together to support your core, your bladder, your sexual function, and your sense of safety and control in your body.

But most Kegel instruction focuses only on the PC muscles, and often teaches contraction without emphasizing release or finding ways to lengthen the muscles. We’re told to “squeeze like you’re stopping the flow of urine,” and that’s it.

Here’s the problem: muscle health isn’t just about contracting. It’s about coordination, mobility, and a clear neuromuscular (brain to muscle) connection.

If you only train contraction, you create a holding pattern. That leads to tension, pain, numbness, or more leakage, not less.

And to make things worse, most people aren’t even engaging the right muscles. They're clenching their glutes, inner thighs, or abs, thinking they’re working their pelvic floor, when in reality, they’re reinforcing disconnection.

It’s like trying to train your biceps by flexing your shoulders.

True pelvic floor health requires more than a few squeezes. It involves- learning where your pelvic floor actually is and how it functions, coordinating your breath with your movement, building neuromuscular connection (also known as the brain-body link that helps you feel and control these muscles), strengthening and releasing through intentional movement, and incorporating exercises that mimic the way your body moves in real life, not just lying down and squeezing

That’s why I started putting all of this into a different kind of practice. Something that goes beyond just squeezing. Something that invites you to feel more, not just do more.

Because your pelvic floor deserves more than outdated advice or awkward clenches done in secret. It deserves real attention. It deserves breath, softness, strength, and the chance to fully support your pleasure and your health.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

If you’ve been doing Kegels and not getting the results you were hoping for, you’re not alone.
For so many of us, the issue isn’t effort. It’s understanding and guidance.

We’ve been handed an oversimplified version of pelvic floor health that doesn’t reflect the complexity of our bodies or the stressors of modern life. We’ve been taught to contract without being taught to feel. To tighten without knowing how to release.

The good news is, there are ways to work with your pelvic floor that are more intuitive, more complete, and actually support your nervous system, your pleasure, and your everyday life. This is the kind of work I come back to again and again, not just in my teaching, but in my own body.

If you’re curious about what that looks like, I’ve put together a course that walks you through the practices I use with all my private clients. It’s called Beyond Kegels, and it’s designed to help you rebuild that connection in a sustainable, embodied way.

No pressure, no quick fixes. Just real tools for people who want to feel more.

You can learn more about it right here.

If you want to learn more about ways to relax your pelvic floor, check out my blog on 5 Ways to Relax Your Pelvic Floor